Sun in the citee


Funny thing happened at work today and I wanted to call you immediately. Like I legit said, “Oh, Mom is gonna crack up at this…” And I stopped and it hit me again. It’s like day is going good, it’s sunny out, windows open (you know how I love the cold) and BAM! Smacked in the side of the head with sadness. That person you called when you wanted to share some good news or a funny story; not there. I guess I can still tell you. I guess I can still do that. I hope you’re enjoying yourself in Heaven. I didn’t want to think about it when she said it, but Lisa’s right, I wonder what your first day in Heaven was like. I hope to God you are getting all the negative out of our life. We need a back hoe to get it out. It’s hard to even be happy around birthdays or holidays. It’s like they’re strange or something. You always did so much for birthdays and holidays. You literally went the extra mile…..for so many people. I was just reading the candle holder post from Beth and just really emotional over the millions of small things you did for people. I guess that’s why you were so loved and endeared. You knew how to make people happy with literally the smallest things and ways. I think of how it’s literally been Hell the last 8 months. The loss of you and our own trials and tribulations. The irony of it all, is that terrible situations do make you tougher and my God, I’ve had enough to last a lifetime last year. I am SO thankful for all the good people in my life who have supported me and really listened and let me know that there are just bad things and bad people on this planet and to try and stay very far away from both as much as you can. I went to the annual delco prom on Friday and man. The outpouring of support and love. Grown men I have known my whole life coming up to me, grabbing my head and literally standing head to head and saying I am sorry about your mom Bob. She was always a happy, joyful person to be around. She was great to be around. And so many great girls I grew up with just having a blast and letting me have a normal night and just laughing and joking and realizing how much I needed that. Man, so many Folcroft and Collingdale and Sharon Hill people came out. I had a really interesting ride down there and will do a separate post about that. But man, so much love at the party. It truly makes me realize that one, I have always been good to people who have been good to me. Aside from that one time Jimmy Rafter ripped my underwear straight off my body. A rite of passage though.  Still love all those guys today. I am thankful I was always good to people throughout my life because in times of tragedy, they have come up big time. Real people. Not pretend. Real friends. Real men. Real women. Something great to be said for those Delco bonds that I will always maintain. The way you know you have good people in your corner is when you can see them after 1, 5, 10, 20 years and pick right up where you left off and laugh and enjoy each other. There’s no ulterior motive. You can be yourself. I am so grateful. I actually feel sorry for people who don’t have what we have in this part of the world. I don’t even know what I was originally writing about. Oh, I am gonna be getting out the city. I don’t know when and I don’t know where I am going, but I am gonna be getting out of here. Looking forward to the change. I miss you Mom. Opening Day tomorrow! Bryce Harper. I want to say Chase Fucking Utley, but Bryce Fucking Harper! Man. Should be a fun season. Sixers in the playoffs. I know towards the last years you really got into them. I think cause Terry loves watching them, but they are a helluva team. I will keep pushing forward like I always have. Nothing and no one will hold us back Mom. You never let anything or anyone stop you from living. I love remembering how you lived. I love thinking about how many laughs we had. When I was talking to a girl I met about Newport recently, I had to stop. It hurt to know that our last trip was really our last trip. I just don’t understand why it all happened and really, that’s what everyone says. Well, everyone that is human and not some asshole. Thankfully the assholes aren't around any more. Haaaa. And it is true. Until you have gone through this type of pain, you really just don’t know how hard it hits you and how much you have to fight to overcome it. Then again, you are the rock, you are the CEO, you are the leader.  Love you, Bobby. 


Comments

Popular posts from this blog

9/11/01

Sometimes I can’t

Clover