PattybytheSea

So now we are just waiting on your approval to come back home. Two facilities have accepted you and now waiting for the one we picked and that’s your next stop for the next 30 days. Like past few days, we hope you keep improving. Totally shocked when nurses said and showed me you are Responding to pain and then Kathy tickled your foot and you moved your toes. All great signs Mom. You’re healing. Just keep it up. You were never a quitter. Ha. Even with smoking! Haha. So keep it up! People as far as Australia and the UK are pulling for you. Like everyone believes in you. And we are not even 20 days out! I am so proud of you. You never gave up on us and you won’t give up on yourself. And now we can all come and see you!!! Love you Mom. Bobby

You are the strongest person I know. As I sit here next to your bed and watch these medical folks in amazement that you are now breathing on your own, vitals are great, you’re even starting to recognize pain again. I brought you some lemon juice, some mint and Folgers coffee to let your smell   Senses feast on familiar scents. The “Annie” doesn’t know who she screwed with. The toughest woman to come down the Pike (Chester)!!! Keep fighting Mom. We are all so proud of you. Even in this condition you remain my ultimate role model. Xoxoxoxo. Bobby

Sitting here thinking of our trip to DC. I think it rained so much that weekend. You and Lam met me near my hotel at 14th and K St. We got you guys the big suite and bunch of free breakfast. We had food down the street because they had a great HH menu. We saw so much cool stuff. The museum of american history, air and space, all those different exhibits through the years of America. Dorothy's Ruby Red slippers. All those historical monuments. Oh man. Such a fun time. I am glad we had people get our pictures. So happy...

Right around this time 2-3 days a week you would call me on your way to Heather’s. For some reason you would ALWAYS ask me if I am working or have work...you never believe people can work from home now. You spent so many days away from home working over the years. The superfresh in Southwest, Manoa, South Street and Ocean City. Shop Rite in Marmora, and I think a few others. Always working. I wish you could’ve stopped, but was not meant to be this soon. Lisa just sent me Kane’s first day of 2nd grade. I’m mad cause you need to be here with him and in a way, I know you are. I miss you terribly mom. We all miss OUR best friend. 😥

I finally made my way back to Manayunk. It doesn’t feel like my home any more. I feel like home is 5528 West Ave or the ICU, as sad as that sounds. We all miss you. This just isn’t fair. You just need a 2nd chance. I laughed and cried a few times today. It was such a beautiful day today. I found a voicemail you left me in October. We should’ve gone to The Biscuit. I remember that call. I remember that day. It was a beautiful day, but I had gone out the night before and all you wanted was to go down the shore.

We are checking out of 5528 West Avenue. We have to clean this place and pack everything up. It’s been a nice refuge all things considered. I kind of want to box your room up and bring it to where you will be staying. I know I can’t do that. Last night when Lisa was in there the stuff flew off the closest shelf and the hangers started moving. Maybe you were pissed we had to pack up. The Bible card also flew off the day I was in there...hours after the AC was on. We miss you mom. Please Wake up.

Like we knew you would, your body is getting stronger and you shocked the ICU folks yesterday with your PEEP and your vent and movements. So proud of you! Keep on shocking them like you shocked the world as our superhero. I keep sending you pictures and telling you I love you. So many people are pulling for you. They love you. Everyone wants their PattybytheSea back....Joyce said, “if you wanted more time at the beach all you had to do is ask..” Hahahah. The new doc says you just need some time for your brain to heal. I joked with Pralle cause he said the same and I asked if he was a doctor and he said no, but he did stay at a holiday inn express..hahaha. Think you would laugh at that.

Been working during the day and spending my nights with you in the ICU. I laugh thinking of when you wake up you will be poked and prodded as a medical mystery and the Miracle on the Pacific (Ave)....haha. I keep wanting to see a text from you. I would love that. It’s the last week in your rental. I kind of want the place for us. It’s as you say, “so cozy”. It’s just too damn quiet without you. You are so colorful. Ha. I keep thinkin about days by the edge of pool pavement, I can feel that concrete on my feet walking over to your “spot”. It’s a sunny day. My recollection of the pool days were many sunny days and you giving me some change for a frozen Snickers. Always caring for us. I think the pool allowed you to smoke back in those days. God. You would be blasted for that today. We are looking for the smallest of signs to hang our hope on. Last night I saw you smile. I don’t care what the doctors or nurses say, you smiled. That was enough for me. Love you Mom. You’re my hero.

A friend of mine said she had a dream about her mom mom. She said she never has dreams about her mom mom. Her mom mom was singing a song she loved from Bobby Darin. What is really interesting is that maybe it was a sign from her former husband and my old teammate and friend, Tommy. His favorite number was 22 and today is the 22nd. Even more crazy, her mom mom’s last name was Kenney. Everyone is pulling for you mom. We love you!!! ❤

I sit here by your side. You stayed by mine for so many days and nights. While I was growing. While I was sick. While I was upset. While I was happy. Even while I was mad at you. I sit by your side...praying to God to give you some life. Inside, lights beeping and flashing. Outside, lights beeping and flashing. Irony at its best. Today you look the most like yourself  to me. Aside from the new age buzz cut (new fashion trend), your swelling has gone down. Your eyes are twitching and to me I see life. I can wait a lifetime for you to heal. You gave five of us life....we owe you that. I am selfish because I want you back. Love you Mom.

A funny story Joyce just shared with me. Lol she did always call you "the prince " oh lord one time she showed up at my house in Norwood with bleach on her hair . Her entire head covered in bleach but it wasn't getting light enough . She wanted to know if I had any bleach and developer . I did , but was afraid her hair was going to fall out . This was about 10 at night . Well we did get her hair to the color she wanted . I have no idea how her hair didn't fall out . Her scalp was actually purple . I have such great memories of when we all rented Lynette house . She rented the patty wagon for you guys . We came home from the boardwalk and bia was no where to be found . We left her in the patty wagon asleep. The days at folcroft pool . From opening to closing ! Carefree , kid happy , pretzels with cheese ! Lol the playpen stapes to a tree for the malin kids . The hair pulled ever so tight to get those ponytails and buns 😊

So this whole time I heard you and Kathy joking about her hat blowing off and away I’m sitting here thinking she wears a hair piece. I brought it up when we all went out to Ruby’s for an early dinner. Kathy, obviously shocked after I said something about Splatty’s blond bun, was like, “you thought my hair was fake?” My mind was blown. We laughed so hard. Kathy later confirmed via photo evidence that the “hat” is hers for life and will not blow away. Too funny.

Good Morning My Mother...oh I miss you so much. Literally my sweet angel. Last night you were squinting and even moved your mouth when I had your eyes open. We are still at the rental. Lisa made your bed nice and good and sprayed some of your perfume. Still some sand in your sandals. Makes me happy you had your toes in the sand. Keeping your friends up to date on your progress. You’re so loved. I had a dream about you! I had like 3 dreams last night. Gonna try and rest a little more. My first one was mom woke up in the hospital bed. She sat there with her legs Indian style and she was crying that we were all going through this but that she was getting better and just scared cause she was in the hospital. I told her I was so happy to hear her voice but she needs to continue to recover and get better and she can go back to sleep and when she is ready she will wake up. In a weird way I was happy cause she woke up and was alive. Lisa sprayed some of her perfume as I walked by I felt mom

Hi Mom! Sitting here next to your room with all your shore stuff in it. I can hear the seagulls screaming your name, Lisa is on the phone with your sister Kathy, I am upstairs doing some work. You must’ve blessed me with very little work today. Thanks. You’re still sleeping, but we know you’re gonna wake up soon and I can take you for a walk on the boards. We’ve all been here with you in one capacity or another. The seagulls are getting louder. Are you trying to talk to us? We all miss you. We just miss your calls and regular day to day talking and seeing what we’re up to. I know you can see ya as you are traveling all around us as you find your way back to your body. I will go into your room and talk to you. Over and out.

I was just at breakfast and we were talking about how you and Joe danced at Lisa’s wedding and how nice it was to see those pictures of you and him dancing and being happy and how loved you felt when you were getting a chance to receive the love back that you put out in the world. I keep texting you hoping in some weird way you will reply and just call me. We are all missing you.

I am laying here and I just keep thinking about what we could’ve done so you wouldn’t have to go through this. I just don’t feel like I can ever make sense of this. I don’t understand how you are going to pass and I am going to continue on. I just want to go back in time. I just want you back pestering me and calling me and just asking me how I’m doing. This is so hard.

When I got back from seeing you yesterday, I saw Ace. I picked him up and he came right to me. He hugged me so good and tight. Like you would hug me. It really made me sad. I am laying in the bed next to your room. Kane is in bed playing on his switch. Typically this would be a perfect morning, but of course we know it is not. Your sister and brother are so sad. Kathy said that she doesn’t have anyone to talk to and that she lost her best friend. I don’t even know how to console her. I don’t know what to say. I don’t know what to do. There are no words to console anyone. It’s just so tragic Mom. Where are you? Where did you go? Why did you leave? All I wanted was a little more time. Not an entire lifetime, but some time. I can’t help but think of the bad times and I know I shouldn’t. I wish we could just take another trip to Newport and I know we will never ever get back there again. All our little trips. I am going to miss them so much. I can’t make any sense of this. I really cannot

Where do I even start Mom? I can’t even understand any of this right now. I am sitting on the bed in the room next to the room where you may have spent your final hours. I am beside myself. We all are. I miss you so much it hurts every part of my body. You are in a bed in the ICU, but really it’s just your body. I can’t make sense of any of it. You spent the entire day on the beach with the kids and your best friends and family. The day was beautiful. I kept saying to Lisa I should be down there with you all. The weather held me back. You started your vacation and had a great week. You spent all day Sunday playing with the kids and even went in the water. Around 6:30 you complained of neck pain and headaches and then from there it progressed to be worse. I can’t even try to write it cause it upsets me so much. I can’t imagine that I lost my best friend in Pop Pop 4 years ago and now I am possibly going to lose you. I have a lot of regret. People are trying to tell me that I was you