Ink


Still a bit chilly in the tri-state area. I know you’d be giving me a call on your way home from Heather’s. We’ve all played your messages and videos so much. It really doesn’t make things easier, but it makes me laugh. You were usually always in a good mood. It’s like, I don’t know anyone who can live like that. You were just so happy to be alive. And you were happy for other people who were happy. Or you were there to help them work towards being happy…even if you’re life was not anywhere close to perfect. I think that’s the part that is hard, knowing how hard you had it. How hard I know you worked. How you weren’t always comfortable to be in certain situations or places. I hope wherever you are right now, you are alive and free and feeling completely loved. You deserve it. I figure everyone in Heaven gets what they wanted in their life on earth. No real messages from that famous psychic Lisa and I went to. I think you’re probably were like, “I’m not going there…” Lisa and I joked that you, Pop Pop and Mom Mom were on the beach and for this event, you had to go to some special building in Heaven and you’re all like, “Screw those matherfackers….we’re keeping our asses in the sand….” And then you yell at Pop Pop for having chips all down his shirt…Dad, you’re all over the place…” Oh how I wouldn’t give for one day on the beach with you all. I really didn’t know how good we had it with you, Pop Pop and Mom Mom and the sea. That’s all I can really hope Heaven is like. You guys and the ocean. We are trying our best to get along, but this is not easy at all. It’s hard to go places. It’s causes a lot of anxiety. We remember a lot of the good times, but then in private remember the good times and the hard times and the hard conversations we had. I definitely think our family went through too much in the last few decades. I think and realize how a lot of things really just didn’t need to happen the way they did and how things should’ve been different. Now that I know the signs, I can be more proactive, but also know I won’t have that in my life going forward. A lot of lessons learned. I want to say no regrets, but I wish I would’ve drug you to the doctors or you had someone poking you to take care of yourself instead of you always being the caretaker. Anyhow, I know you’d be saying, “Bobby, you’re so crazzzzyyyyyyyyy…” I was able to get your fingerprint from Cavanaughs and I went to RC’s in Ridley last night and got some new ink. RC wasn’t there, but I was able to get it done by a fantastic artist named Jen. We talked and talked about everything that happened. Your incident, my endless battle with every partied involved and your final days, but also you as a person. It was VERY therapeutic. She was great. I love the tattoo and I walked out very happy and positive and just breathing again. I made sure to get my Delco crack aka Swiss Farms Diet Lemon tea. You know we don’t have that in the 215. I wanted to drive by the house, but I didn’t. I feel like that’s not where I want to remember you cause you were just a part of so many other places that hold so many positive feelings for me. We miss you so much. Love you. Bobby


Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Falling

Image
In some alternate reality, I am just sitting here with my windows open as the city quiets down and folks on the beast coast enjoy a nice fall night. Someone has a fire pit going in the town and the smoke seems to travel well here. I am pulled back to The Can, to The Biscuit. The smell of dried burning leaves and the world quieting down. Now, maybe more than ever, I know that peace and happiness are so much more valuable than debates and criticism. Somewhere we got caught in the blur of life. I blame technology. Ha. I think about what you would be doing. A relaxing Sunday of visits, a pot of gravy with some ravs, maybe a roast and some veggies. A call to ask me if I want to stop by for dinner. How I thought those invites would never end. How I value your cooked meals filling my belly with nutrients and love and the simple fact you just liked having us over, just liked company. Just liked people. I think about you taking your boxes of fall and Halloween stuff out. I can imagine those tin...
Read more

9/11/01

Not that I would ever want to write about that day in any way, but that day, I guess, well, we all were somewhere, with someone, seeing history, unfortunately be made. I will never forget that morning. There was literally not a cloud in the sky. I guess I was like 24. I know I was working at Vanguard by then. I am pretty sure. I remember, that day, I was just sitting out front, cause it was so comfortable about on Grant Rd. The sun was perfect. The sky perfect. You must've been somewhere in the house. Not that you could get lost. I remember Dad was in his work jeans and sitting upright on his bed. I think all the girls were in school. I was done college. I have this idea of going back into the house and a "oh my God..." or a "Bob, what is going on..." For some reason I remember Dad just being fixated on the Sony screen. There weren't many words to echo during the time the planes were hitting. I remember one thing...the two of you on the bed, the brown and li...
Read more

PattiByTheRoad?

Image
I am remembering the time you first got The Bitty. You had loaded all your stuff up in your car and were heading down. I got a call from a trooper that said you had been in an accident. Obviously my heart sank quickly, but in the background I could hear you laughing and saying, “that’s my son!” So a sigh of relief came over me. So the trooper tells me that they are gonna get you a tow to the local Wawa and you’ll be there. So I went out the night before, but jumped up and got my stuff on and I think even packed a small bag to stay over with you. Really not sure where the hell I would be picking you up at or where we would be going. So I am flying down to BumbleF town in whatever part of Jersey you were stranded and I pull up and I see you….At first I laughed, but then a huge sadness came over me. Like Chrissy said, “you do anything to get to the beach…” Even if that meant holding an umbrella over you to protect you from the sun while all your goods were spread out in the grass for all ...
Read more