PattybytheSea

I get pissed off that you literally could’ve spent 1 hour in a doctor’s office in the last 10-20 years and possibly had this all caught and been able to be proactive in taking care of it. What we have gone through since August 2018 actually could’ve been avoided. Yes, it does happen out of nowhere to many people. Also Yes, you definitely could’ve been seen by a doctor, been taken to the doctors, by “chance” hit your head and been seen by the ER. I was telling Bia that when I had my scan, it wasn’t even really necessary but done as a precaution. If anything we know now, we know that hospitals will run any tests under the sun. But one test could’ve been done proactively, at cost, covered, etc. and probably saved your life or at least given you a chance. It’s complete fucking bullshit. It’s a cop out. It’s an excuse. We have MRI facilities in every fucking hospital and even some standalone shops every 5-10 miles. Saying, “Mom didn’t like doctors or hospitals…” is a fucking excuse. I kno...

Sitting here watching the tide come in up at Easton Beach in Newport. Really miss that place. The shore away from the shore. I remember going back and forth with Pop Pop about how great it was up there; from the food, to the beaches to the town and the mansions and the Cliff Walk. He never believed me. I think in one year’s time I ate more seafood there than I ever did it the Jersey Shore. Many times I rewind back to the times I spent up there. Mostly just walking the streets and enjoying that clean, salty air. Times when I wasn’t stressed or depressed. Times you were still here and not gone. Times when things were more like they used to be. So much has changed. As things usually do. Still looking for a place, but may have to hit a hard pause on it. I want to enjoy the summer. Hopefully get some time away from the area. I remember that summer you had the Bitty. It was so simple just to get away. Even if it was a one room shack, it was peaceful and quiet. When the sun went down that l...

For the life of me I can’t get motivated to do stuff I absolutely loathe doing. As you used to say, “do your 8 and skate”. The days are kind of a blur the last few months. People going crazy over a virus, civil unrest, no sports, closed bars and restaurants, people with masks, people constantly on edge, people looking for drama, people running from it. It’s a beautiful morning and I am trying to channel your calm. I think how animated you would be sometimes and then I think of times when you were just driving around enjoying the sites and smells of pre summer days. Almost the floral or fruity smell that will sometimes pop up. It happens to me on my bike rides, along with many robins. I don’t have much energy for the back and forth or arguments or debates at this point. I just kind of want some quiet. I think of you sitting out front of Chrissy’s apartment on her little patio, just enjoying the simplest of pleasures….basically free. Sun, sand, ocean, and fresh air. The things you tr...