PattybytheSea

  It is impossible for me to think of holidays and not think of the two of you. I simply love this picture. Typical Joe face. Excited to cut the bird. And you behind him so excited. Does life get any better? Nope. You came up in conversation tonight. The night you left us. I sometimes wonder what the last meal you made was. The last ingredient. The last thing you wrapped. The last thing you prepared. It’s somewhat dark but also just makes me realize how you helped us survive. And well, all those days slicing lunch meat for sandwiches for kids lunches, work lunches, cakes from the bakery, your work to feed. That’s so important. Tonight I saw all the food we brought. I thought about how much you loved cooking (crying as a type this). It was truly your office. I remember getting cheese in Southwest. A dip in the pickle juice. Remember Manoa, seeing the woman you worked with. I remember the shore. I wonder how many people at food you prepared. I remember helping you with you

I had a dream during a nap. Mom is speaking to me. I have zero doubt. Like why would Theresa be in my dream? And it was vivid. Man. They all were. I got scared and woke up at one point. But man. Mom was sitting up in bed. Which of course, she never did but she does in my dream. Her skin is very young and no blemishes or wrinkles. Theresa is to the left, in a plastic chair. Mom is sitting Indian style. Theresa is touching her hand or leg and says, “I’m here for you Patti.” Mom is looking at her as she says it. And then mom turns slowly towards me and says. “See Bobby, that’s the kind of attitude I want around me....” and I woke up.