PattybytheSea

That video was amazing. The songs and pictures are amazing. Seeing her with the little ones hits you. I never really talked to her about Tigers AC cause I didn’t know that part of her life. I felt bad that I didn’t visit her at home or ask her if she needed help. Until about 6-7 years in I felt I had a “place” next to your shop and could just stop in and I did every time she was up on her “perch”.  These two pictures are just so her.  As for the luncheon, I felt like I was starting to just get into a certain grieving mood that I couldn’t control. When I drove home after such a beautiful service it was very hard to contain myself. I’ve not been able to really put it down on paper and I said to Jackie. I said aloud. “Mom, when you see Mom Mom, just give her one of the warm hugs you always gave me cause mom mom is one helluva hugger” and I used to say she gave great cheek kisses.  After I said that driving home I came home and ate and had nothing emotionally left. I know there are many gr

I got off macdade Blvd. came down Knowles Ave by the park and came to the “sound horn” bridge. I broke down. I remember so many times me and you or me and dad came through this area. I immediately thought of simpler times so long ago. I couldn’t control it but it was so nice out I just kept going and came to a beautiful street donned with American flags. Families in the park. I remember driving back through that area so many times. I think about it now. It’s such a small corny thing but it was such a memory we had. I came home from so many games and practices and food pickups. I think about how I used to touch the felt on whatever car we we’re driving. I would lay my hand flat to feel the seat. It could’ve been the sunbird’s rubber plastic, the Plymouth black peeling, the maroon of the mercury, the tan of the caprice classic or the tan of the wind star. I think of my hand touching them all some point in time. I would do it and just smile outside of the window. You couldn’t see my smile

Today was so long. Now with Kathy also not here, almost twice as long. I haven’t been feeling well for a bit and I sat in all day. Thankful to have off tomorrow. It’s been cold and rainy and gray most of the weekend. Just strange for this time of year but it is what it is.   There’s so much you two are missing.     I couldn’t even write it all here. I always have thoughts of wanting to tell you this or that or tell you what I’m planning on doing or going or just anything. And I can’t. I can’t hardly bring myself to bring you up to the girls or dad cause it’s just heartbreaking.   I want to focus on the good that is the good parts of the past. Beth told me her and Chris and the kids were going to Erin Pub and I was thrust back to our last meal. In s good way. I only have a snap of the meal and not of us.    It would’ve taken exactly one minute to say “ma’am, can you get a picture of me and my mom?”. Done. Those are the things that hurt the most. The missed opportunities I will never be