Reaching out

First time in a while I think all 5 of us have been able to see some light through all this and actually laugh again. Lots of hard times still to get through, but I think we rely on you for the strength you gave us on Earth and how great of a person/parent/mom/friend/co-worker/confidant you were. Lam just said something that I swear came right from your brain. I stopped and was like, man, it’s like you’re talking through us. Also just sitting here in amazement, and after talking to a close friend of yours, how you “mother’d” so effortlessly. She said she would call you in times of worry and you’d calm her down with a funny comment or just put life in perspective about things being overwhelming. That is SO you. Same to me with work. Hey, if they don’t treat you good, someone else will. It’s amazing how much advice you gave, without really giving it as advice. More of a sounding board. And man, you talked and listened with so many people. I think that’s the constant. You were someone’s “girlfriend”. Funny story about “girlfriend”….we don’t have any clue where she is. Do you have her? Ha. Anyhow, you were always someone’s girlfriend, someone’s best friend, someone’s Pattybythesea, the neighbor, the helper, the advisor, the silent leader. It’s amazing how so many things that would bother me before, I could absolutely care less about today. Things are definitely in perspective. While I wouldn’t wish what we went through from August until now, it sure lets you know what is important and what is not, who is important and who is not, who is there for us and who is not. Very black and white these days. It’s gonna be 80 today!!! I know you would be calling one of us saying, “Screw this, I am gonna get my flippy flops and my beach bag and head down to the beach!” That’s the best part of all of this, your last real day was on the beach. God does that give me some solace. Anyhow, I think of you often. In my daily life, WWPD? What would Patti do? Haaaaaaa. We should make bracelets. We got some cool things coming up in May. Really excited to get away with the fam. We have Easter this Sunday. I went to my storage unit to put the last of your medical and legal records away. Never easy to see the things from you during your time here. Your license, your checkbook and how much progress you were making on creating your life and having things in line. Some things I have questions about and some I will figure out on my own. All your cards and what not. Like you’re just gonna come back and use them. And really, overall, how all those dollars, payments, notes about money, notes about bills, and well, all that stress….don’t mean a fucking thing today. It makes me glad to know that I have always tried to focus on my time with people rather than sitting worrying about a penny here and there or maintaining this other life that really wasn’t even the case. We’re not leaving here with it. Man. I woke up today, so I’m rich! We were always a fan of simple things….a car ride, the beach, a good cheap meal, a drink, funny stories. That really is life. It’s kind of funny cause you know what I really have going on and my dreams. Keep them between us. Ha. Ok. Wrapping up a good week. Nice out. I know you’re looking down on all of us. And we are SO lucky to have such a special person up there. I haven’t been to the house in a minute. We have most of your stuff stored in my storage unit. Really haven’t even had a chance to go through it. Last night when I was there, I threw something in the container and it started talking. I almost fell over. Some kind of doll or sound piece. I didn’t look for it. Haaaaa. Probably something you put away for the future. Your friends reach out. It makes me happy. They reach out to see how we are doing. My co-worker from Arizona sent me a nice card, kept saying how bad she felt that she couldn’t be closer and help us with rides/meals/etc. She’s a Mormon and think she said that when someone is losing someone or going through a tough time, 2-3 of them are assigned the person. In my head, I am like wow, that’s great. Then in my head that’s being human!! Like someone I only know through work offering to cook. Really just took me back. I know you would be so grateful. Just gonna keep the ball rolling and keep remembering the happy you. I can’t really keep dwelling on the times you were sad. It won’t help anything. I know what your wishes were and I know it’s great to have wishes. Love you. Bobby


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