402

I know you know what that number means....

So what would a summer be without mentioning all the fun we had when we were growing up in Folcroft. Before I get started, I got a chance to go down to the beach. I got the big board in the salty water and man, it felt great. I couldn’t even sleep the night before. I felt like I just couldn’t wait to get down to the beach. Really any beach would’ve due, but I like the scene in Brigantine. So chill. Beaches are great. Waves are good. Anyhow, I was talking to Kathy Malin before I left my truck. We were talking about getting in the water and just some things about you. So I get on to the beach…after that longass walk. And I see a plane flying over and it says, “Battling Cancer…No one fights alone…” Then I am in the water and I see a huge sting ray just gliding by me. In 41 years of going to the shore, I never saw one. Then I saw a woman in a white cover-up all the way back on the beach and she was acting just like you would. Looking down on seashells and just enjoying the sand and strolling around. She stood there and next thing I knew she was gone. So as soon as I got in the water, everything was peaceful. Man. It was like just it washed it all away. With last summer being completely horrible and never really ever getting a chance to enjoy the beach, Saturday was a great replacement. Like I said, replace the bad with the good every chance you get. I stayed at Sandy Lane to surf til about 12:30. Then I headed down to Chrissy’s and we walked down to her beach and it was nice. Just snacked on some wawa stuff and then we got Ernest & Sons. Man, that’s some real food. Finally. Some awesome sandwiches at the shore. I looked on the google reviews and saw it had 5 stars. The menu was so awesome. They had this sandwich called the Tailgater, sausage on a long roll with American cheese, hold the peppers and onions. It was amazing. Get this, when I walk up I see that the sign for Marchiano’s on the front. They sell strombolis from Marchianos! Ha. Nothing but the best. I didn’t plan to stay down and it was a perfect day. Not a bad thing happened. Me and Chrissy had some laughs. Even about some of the stuff from last year. It’s kind of how you can look back and just realize how trivial and small people and things become when you’ve been through something so real. So, aside from you being gone, it’s been a great summer so far. We all miss you so much. We are all confused. We continue to ask why. I try to find some things that will help us all just trying to see the sense of all of it. I’ve definitely cleared a lot of the negativity out of my life. It’s amazing how easy it is to just cut the dead weight. Some you have to block. Some understand. Some are dealing with their own stuff, but not my job to fix them at all. Leave that to the doctors and their families and friends. Been trying to be out as much as possible. You would be amazed to see how much they are building here. It’s crazy, but I can’t way to find something outside of here.

Back to what I originally wanted to write about. Saturday driving home I was remembering all the great times we had at the Folcroft pool. Getting me addicted to frozen Snickers bars. Those great cheese pretzels from the snack bar. How I would loathe walking on the rubber bathroom mats and the turf in the snack bar. Your spot deep back by the woods and the baby pool. All the times you packed everything you needed for me and the girls. How I would eventually walk home with Lou or someone else. Walking past Pathmark and DQ. Really crazy how long ago that was. It definitely was the best of times. Man. Can’t even imagine that now. And the splash parties at night. So much fun when we were a kid. I am thankful to have seen many Folcroft people at the Delms that day. So great to be able to see so many old friends and just pickup where you left off and have fun. Loyalty and respect are two traits that you can never have enough of. Really amazing. Lots of funny stories. A few that even shocked me, but then made me laugh. Anyhow, I remember all the days we spent up there. I would get up there so early and by 4-5pm, my eyes would be beat read from the chlorine. Back when I still had that blonde hair. 

I think I speak for others when I say you are truly missed. There are just so many people who miss you. It’s just amazing, but like others have said, sad. Sad that you were taken from us at still such a young age. There was a video about grieving that I shared with the girls and Kathy and Kathy and Colleen. It had a good message, but even the speaker got choked up about some things. Like you don’t really “move on”. Grieving is a process that comes and goes and she made some great points about it. Points you only really can speak on when you’ve lost someone near and dear. And we have. I have so many dreams and just images of you coming up to my apartment, coming to Manayunk, driving around. It’s like I can see the image and it starts to just dissipate. It’s strange. It’s like there and then you snap out of it and back to reality.

In a way maybe your life taught me to strive for better in my life, but also in the people in my life. Maybe that is the lesson. I would rather not have learned it by losing you, but I can’t control that. I also saw an orange and black butterfly cross my path when I carried my stuff back to the car. Thank you. I know you’re there. I do. I am grateful for your never ending protection. Even in death you show me how important it is to be human, to be compassionate, to care about one another and to remember that we’re not here forever, so enjoy the good times and maybe try not to focus on the bad ones. Typically, bad moments are just moments. For some, longer. I think you do yourself a great justice when you take your life by the reigns and really just go towards the light and away from the darkness. A better life is sometimes hiding in plain site. Love you Mom. Bobby