Peter Cottontail

Did back to back rides in this heat this week. Another today if it doesn’t lightning. I was heading down Kelly Drive, my usual route. I never see rabbits out there with birds, just playing. I pass this one group of animals and I can see about 4-5 robins and a brown rabbit. Beautiful. I laughed cause all I could think of was your “Here comes Peter Cottontail” song you would sing around Easter time and do that baby rabbit/dinosaur thing with your hands and hop around and then just collapse in laughter. Ah, those were the good old days. I remember how many times you would set out all our baskets and candy. How great it looked and how nice the weather was during Easter Sundays growing up. It was always like a chilly morning with some warmth coming in and then by the afternoon it was almost like a summer day. I wish we took more pictures, made more memories about those days. I know there are a few pictures around of the baskets, but they only do it so much justice. I was watching a show last night about a photographer who takes pictures of all types of things. A woman’s voice came on to explain why photos are so important. “They’re a look back in time. They create the memory because they are a glimpse into the past. You will remember who you were and what you were doing looking at the picture…” Really made sense to me. While I am happy we have the videos, the pictures are also great. With both we get to relive better times, simpler times. Times you were here. I know you are always close by. I know you miss us as we miss you. You’ve come up several times as friend’s parents have moved on or folks I have seen in the media have passed from similar things. I think I saw a few people in their 40’s. I think about them, if they could’ve just spent 30 mins in that machine and checked their head, maybe they could’ve had a chance. I know those are expensive, so I get why they aren’t ever going to be something everyone can do. I haven’t been to the shore much this summer. Something just doesn’t feel right and it’s not something I can just laugh off or look the other way. I will get down, just had things come up. It’s hard to explain what this does to you to folks who have not gone through it. I almost don’t really want to spend the time cause it just brings back everything. Kane wrote a very nice letter, really like a diagram about the naming of the summer shore houses. It was both loving, but difficult to read since you are gone. I don’t think I will ever understand how those kids have to grow up without you. Lucy and Ace only maybe having scant memories of you. And well, any other kids to come will have to rely on media. I know you want us to be happy and enjoy life as you tried to every day despite hurdles. I know that. I wish things could’ve been different. I wish they could’ve been easier, simpler, less muddy. I know that life doesn’t have to be that difficult. Same as a job. It’s typically the people and their emotions that make it difficult, not the job itself. I don’t think I’ve driven past Manoa since you passed away. Not on purpose, but I was close to that area recently. I know I drove by it, but I never looked at it. I did it subconsciously. I remember many times I would pick you up from there when you had to take the bus to get to work. You would always be outside, in your Super Fresh uniform, all worn from the day. Always happy to see a familiar face. That always reminds me of Pop Pop. Always just happy to have a friend or a loved one close by. Someone to share your day with. Someone to listen. It really is so easy. Kids will listen to you when you talk. Adults get distracted by life. I have been meeting strangers on my rides recently. Of all races/sexes. It’s refreshing. Talking to someone who really has nothing to gain by talking to me…just being friendly to human beings. When it’s all said and done, I feel like we are all striving for the same thing…happiness. Aside from that small percentage of the population that make efforts to cause pain, I think generally we want to love ourselves and love our families and our spouses. It’s not really that hard to figure out, but then humans’ free will, emotions, well, therein lies the problems. I know how much you shrugged off in life. I get that. More and more I just walk away from any drama. Ignorance is truly bliss…the older I get, the more I feel that way. Anything that doesn’t make you smile is unnecessary in this life time.