Did back to back rides in this heat this week. Another today
if it doesn’t lightning. I was heading down Kelly Drive, my usual route. I
never see rabbits out there with birds, just playing. I pass this one group of
animals and I can see about 4-5 robins and a brown rabbit. Beautiful. I laughed
cause all I could think of was your “Here comes Peter Cottontail” song you
would sing around Easter time and do that baby rabbit/dinosaur thing with your
hands and hop around and then just collapse in laughter. Ah, those were the
good old days. I remember how many times you would set out all our baskets and
candy. How great it looked and how nice the weather was during Easter Sundays
growing up. It was always like a chilly morning with some warmth coming in and
then by the afternoon it was almost like a summer day. I wish we took more
pictures, made more memories about those days. I know there are a few pictures
around of the baskets, but they only do it so much justice. I was watching a
show last night about a photographer who takes pictures of all types of things.
A woman’s voice came on to explain why photos are so important. “They’re a look
back in time. They create the memory because they are a glimpse into the past.
You will remember who you were and what you were doing looking at the picture…”
Really made sense to me. While I am happy we have the videos, the pictures are
also great. With both we get to relive better times, simpler times. Times you
were here. I know you are always close by. I know you miss us as we miss you.
You’ve come up several times as friend’s parents have moved on or folks I have
seen in the media have passed from similar things. I think I saw a few people
in their 40’s. I think about them, if they could’ve just spent 30 mins in that
machine and checked their head, maybe they could’ve had a chance. I know those
are expensive, so I get why they aren’t ever going to be something everyone can
do. I haven’t been to the shore much this summer. Something just doesn’t feel
right and it’s not something I can just laugh off or look the other way. I will
get down, just had things come up. It’s hard to explain what this does to you
to folks who have not gone through it. I almost don’t really want to spend the
time cause it just brings back everything. Kane wrote a very nice letter,
really like a diagram about the naming of the summer shore houses. It was both
loving, but difficult to read since you are gone. I don’t think I will ever
understand how those kids have to grow up without you. Lucy and Ace only maybe
having scant memories of you. And well, any other kids to come will have to
rely on media. I know you want us to be happy and enjoy life as you tried to
every day despite hurdles. I know that. I wish things could’ve been different.
I wish they could’ve been easier, simpler, less muddy. I know that life doesn’t
have to be that difficult. Same as a job. It’s typically the people and their
emotions that make it difficult, not the job itself. I don’t think I’ve driven
past Manoa since you passed away. Not on purpose, but I was close to that area
recently. I know I drove by it, but I never looked at it. I did it subconsciously.
I remember many times I would pick you up from there when you had to take the
bus to get to work. You would always be outside, in your Super Fresh uniform,
all worn from the day. Always happy to see a familiar face. That always reminds
me of Pop Pop. Always just happy to have a friend or a loved one close by.
Someone to share your day with. Someone to listen. It really is so easy. Kids
will listen to you when you talk. Adults get distracted by life. I have been
meeting strangers on my rides recently. Of all races/sexes. It’s refreshing.
Talking to someone who really has nothing to gain by talking to me…just being friendly
to human beings. When it’s all said and done, I feel like we are all striving
for the same thing…happiness. Aside from that small percentage of the
population that make efforts to cause pain, I think generally we want to love
ourselves and love our families and our spouses. It’s not really that hard to
figure out, but then humans’ free will, emotions, well, therein lies the
problems. I know how much you shrugged off in life. I get that. More and more I
just walk away from any drama. Ignorance is truly bliss…the older I get, the
more I feel that way. Anything that doesn’t make you smile is unnecessary in
this life time.