Coffee and a butterfly

I don’t know if I ever wrote about the beautiful butterfly that flew over Dari and Ian at her ceremony on the beach. We felt it was you, as well as others who were there in spirit. It actually hung around for a while over Dari. Me and the girls looked at each other. Lam started welling up. It was bittersweet. Such a great day. I still don’t drink coffee. I have to to go get some breakfast food and laughing that I can’t really eat cereal any more but how much I used to eat in the morning as you drank your coffee. Oh how I loathed that smell. Ha. I remember you would always comment about how fast I scooped that cereal into my mouth. As if I would never eat again. “Slow down Bobby!” Makes me laugh today. Slow down. I really wish I slowed down more the last 10 years. The traveling. The trips. The city life. I guess, well, I always talked to you from wherever I was. DC, Fort Worth, Newport, Calgary, London, Boston, Chicago, Bloomington, San Diego, Las Vegas, Houston, Detroit, Baltimore, Nassau, Rio, Dothan and Pensacola to name a few. I always brought you with me. Always returning with a little something for you, the girls and the grandkids. It always made me feel better about traveling. I think about those mornings sitting at the kitchen table. How did I ever think I would even leave 988 Grant and go to all those places? How did I know I would see so much. How did it all go by so fast? I see you in my dreams many times the last 20 weeks. Always sitting relaxed and with a smile on your face. You don’t talk in my dreams. You just smile. In some way it makes me happy and I am able to sleep through the night. Today we got some great news regarding you. Not the news we would wish for, but something that we deserve, you deserve. Something we all worked hard to achieve. You would be proud about our determination and perseverance. I am. I will be seeing you this week. Not a day goes by I don’t think of you. Think that you are traveling outside your body and just trying to find your way home. Part of me debates whether home is Heaven or back to us. I don’t mind being selfish and saying we want you back bad. For tonight, I can smile. I’m eating my bowl of cereal at the kitchen table at 988, you’re drinking your coffee, we have a calming silence that I think both of us always found as an escape to solace from the volume of the hustle and bustle. I went with Pralle and his mom, aunt, wife and kids to Reading Terminal. I didn’t want to show how I felt and as I walked by the table and chairs that you, me and Pop Pop sat at and had our food from DiNic’s or wherever, I felt it inside of my chest. That inability to breathe and the rush to calm myself down and realize that you are always with me. So is Pop Pop. I guess being that it was only a few years back, I wish to have that time back. I miss my friends. Bobby

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