Mom’s text


 

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Falling

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In some alternate reality, I am just sitting here with my windows open as the city quiets down and folks on the beast coast enjoy a nice fall night. Someone has a fire pit going in the town and the smoke seems to travel well here. I am pulled back to The Can, to The Biscuit. The smell of dried burning leaves and the world quieting down. Now, maybe more than ever, I know that peace and happiness are so much more valuable than debates and criticism. Somewhere we got caught in the blur of life. I blame technology. Ha. I think about what you would be doing. A relaxing Sunday of visits, a pot of gravy with some ravs, maybe a roast and some veggies. A call to ask me if I want to stop by for dinner. How I thought those invites would never end. How I value your cooked meals filling my belly with nutrients and love and the simple fact you just liked having us over, just liked company. Just liked people. I think about you taking your boxes of fall and Halloween stuff out. I can imagine those tin...
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Up the coast....to Newport.

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Remembering our first trip to Newport. I think I was still traveling for work and had good amount of points. I was able to use them to take the train and the first night hotel. I think we went up on a Thursday. We took the train from Philly all the way up the eastern corridor to Providence. We had some lunch on the train. I think I may have worked. It was such a nice ride and a nice day. I remember thinking how much you would enjoy going up through New Rochelle, New Haven and Bridgeport. Especially because the train gets so close to the coast. Like you can literally step off the train and can walk on to the beach. It wasn’t really that sunny when we passed, but it was warm. We got off in Providence. A small station that is kind of like a round house. I remember telling you I didn’t feel well from that lunch. You were like “oh no”. We lugged our stuff to a cab that dropped us off at the Hertz station to pick up our rental and then we were on our way to Newport. I remember you freaking c...
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that night at the Erin

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That night...of my birthday. Such a nice time. At the Erin. I really never told many people about it. We had such a nice dinner. I think we both had like surf & turf meals. Think I had the steak and a crab cake and a beer. I know I have a picture of it somewhere. I can remember it so vividly coming out to your car. You were just like "I got you a little something...." A hoodie and a Sixers shirt. I wore the hoody for this years Super Bowl Parade. I wore it proudly. I gave you a big hug and we parted ways. I really didn't think much of the next few hours. I got home to my apt in Manayunk. I called you to make sure you were ok. Vividly, on the phone, you said, "there's no one here...you should've just packed a bag and stayed here.....there's no one here." I really just didn't focus on it much at the time. After the fact, I felt so bad. I wondered how alone you were. I wondered why I hadn't just gone to the house with you, I wondered why why...
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