August 2017

I will always remember that day we were sitting in that rental you all got that summer. I remember how muggy it was. I remember coming down there and it was just you and I. I remember we were just relaxing. I went and saw a friend that night. Kind of weird cause it was not planned. I remember I really had a good day and we were all in a good mood. You made me a nice little breakfast. That day was big for me and we got a chance to talk and just be happy..and then we went and had dinner at that Italian place. I don't remember it. I remember just being so elated that I couldn't even really remember walking. I remember getting a buffalo chicken wrap. You had some pasta. Of course it was too much for you. I remember the table we sat at. Families enjoying time and meals and just perfect. I remember just walking around OC after and just kinda floating. Content with the day and with dinner and hanging out. I remember calling Kathy and we were probably so loud and excited and crazy and just fun. The day was overcast at best. That was the good and then that whole debacle to my eye and that ulcer. My God. That pain. I couldn't see for 3 days. You drove me all the way back up home to my diabetes doc and then to my eye doc. Man. Like glass in my eye. I remember we got some food and ate here. Just you and I. I remember you offering to do so much. Always helping out. Always offering. I will never forget that day because it wasn't planned, but also the great day before wasn't planned and just happened. Something that never happened before and hasn't happened since. Probably never will. Today I woke to another amazing day. Something that hasnt't happened before and well, maybe it will happen again. I actually called your phone. I wanted to hear your voice. I wanted to hear your support, your love, your excitement. And a bunch of jokes. "Ohhhh.Come down and we can go to the Erin for dinner...your treat..." hahahahahah. "Ohhh. I've been eyeing up these Ralph Lauren can get me an early birthday gift...." I would legit use all that money to get you anything you wanted. I called your number. It rang. Stopped. Kept ringing. It was so weird. Like God was thinking of letting me hear your voice one more time. It just had me frozen there. Like I was going to get a really great gift. I so wanted to hear your voice. I really wish that you could've just stopped in and we could talk for a while. I will be leaving this apt before the end of the year. I promise you. It is hard for me to just leave knowing how much you loved the street, my neighbors and my places. I glance here and there and feel you here and just walking on the sidewalk. Something just happens to me knowing you walked my sidewalks and walked my floors. It's a special place where we had lots of laughs and cries and talks. I can't even get into how much we talked about here. Sometimes I wish we could've stopped talking about so much serious stuff and enjoyed life more. Our lives are so very short in comparison to much of the things on this planet. The older I get, the more precious I realize we are here for such a short time. I know you know what happened today and I am happy that you are close by to support me. School is going well. Getting harder, but fun. I miss you Mom. You really were one of a kind. You sure lit up our lives. Bobby



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