Hands

I continue to conclude that you were just such an amazing person. People continue to reach out to me. I know to see how I’m doing but also just another “I remember this time your mom....” I sometimes wonder how you did it during the holidays. You did such a great job with so little. I know those times weren’t easy and I know all you ever hoped for is to see your kids smile. I know more now than I did those days and I wish I just had you over for more holidays or that we did more during these times the last 10 years. I know we did a ton. You really took a page from Pop Pop’s book and the most important thing in your life was your family. I often think how many times when you knew we did wrong, you were honest with us but also still loving. I hope all your life’s dreams came true the moment you got to Heaven. Life is so different without you around. I know you played a trick on me a week or so ago. There really is no other explanation for it. The city continues to be loud when I just want some peace and quiet. I hope to get that in the new year. I am still amazed at how much you did for so many. It’s like you didn’t sleep. I really don’t know how you did it. I feel like you ran yourself ragged. I know you carried so much worry and stress on your shoulders. I wish that could’ve been quantified. I guess the wrinkles in your hands showed a lot. When I woke up today I was opening and closing my hands and just thinking back to the hospice and those last times I touched your hands...still warm, still blood pumping, still alive. I don’t get it. So many have lost loved ones this year and my heart breaks for them as it does us. I would give up everything to have more time with you. We didn’t even get to say a real goodbye. I miss you. I hope you can continue to watch over us. We sure do need it. Happy Thanksgiving Mom. Love, Bobby 

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