Made Up

I was laughing about how you used to have your little “prep” kit out when you got ready. Used to joke and call you “Mandy Make Up”. I know how hard work was on your hands and feet. Being on your feet so much your poor ankles and feet became weak and almost caused you to walk with a limp. I always wanted you to go and see someone for it. Regardless, you got around the tristate area with the best of them. And you kept on working. Your work ethic would rival any man or woman. You never stopped working. Even in retirement, you kept busy and working to bring money in. I know it really gave you a sense of freedom to have your own money and play by your rules. I recall your little clear bags that you had to use at Super Fresh or Shop Rite and for some reason you kept using them to carry you “fake” debit card. When the check would come I wouldn’t say anything just so I could get a kick out of your plastic bag and toy debit card. It always did make me feel good that you had your own money these days and didn’t have to rely on someone. But I was always happy to pay for you mom. You always are appreciative. That’s the thing. Chrissy and I were just talking about. No matter what happened to you, when you were around someone who was in your presence, you made them feel loved. You definitely had your opinions, but you were always there for people. In good times and in bad. I know, like many people know, is that we are all human and we are all fighting our own fight; with and without a team. I know you truly embraced struggle, but I can see now, it wore you down. Never one to say you were tired, we could tell when you would say to me on the phone, “I’m gonna hit the rack”….many nights I probably should’ve done the same. I know you worked so hard to have a better life. I know you know we love you. I know we’ve shared tough love and not so tough love with you. I guess that’s just part of life. I know you knew that no one is perfect. I am remembering a quote from one of my favorite movies, The Natural. “I believe we have two lives. The life we learn with and the life we live with….” I think at 61 (soon to be) and 41, you and I are still learning. In a way, I think I always want to keep learning. The last few months I have learned about the darkest that life has to offer. I sure don’t think I want to go down this path again. Hopefully I never will have to. We’re making some progress on some things and we are wrapping some things up that we started. We’ll see you tomorrow. Love you Mom.  


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