A Quiet Storm

With some snow supposed to hit us today, I was texting the girls about how much fun you used to have when it snowed. I would be playing on grant road with Sibbett, Sean, Joe, Chris and Lou while the girls would typically be playing in the front yard. I can see it in my mind. It’s cold outside, but warm inside….because of you. Always made our home warm and filled with love. I can see the old school green duck boots. Now back in style….I bet you’d be laughing and saying, “those are classics….never go outta style….” I can recall all the days and nights in the village when it would snow real good. A blanket of quiet white. To me, the snow would be 6-12” every winter when I lived there. Like it would just keep coming. I can recall coming downstairs from a good sleep, listening to 1060 spitting out number after number…and hoping to catch 464 and the morning rage would ensue. Ah. The good old days. You would be sitting at the kitchen table with your coffee and the paper (if it even got delivered before the snow fell) and as I would come down the steps, into the living room, dining room and can see you past the wood on the wall, sitting there, peacefully….reading, drinking, and looking out of the window….your little “Camelot”. You always loved to look out that window. I enjoyed it in later years spending a year at 30 living there. I got it. I can hear your voice in my head, “Good Morning Bobby….” Low, peaceful, warm and loving. I will never forget that. As I type this snow falls outside my window, I will take it as a pleasant sign that you are with us. Snow is kind of a metaphor for our lives. It can be both beautiful and quite the problem to deal with in the Northeast, but one thing with snow falling is that it will, at some point, stop. And we will be left to clean up the mess and get back to our normal routines, but we remember the good times we had in it. I love looking at the pictures of you and the girls in the snow. I guess I was “too cool” at that point for Mom/Son pictures. God do I wish I took so many more. I know the girls were kind of your “team” because you would always have like 4 matching outfits for them for any occasion. Probably a House of Bargains sale. Ha. Not hearing or seeing you really doesn’t get any easier. While you are sitting at Fox, my mind wanders and just wonders where you are, if you are happy, if you are sad, if you scared, if you are mad because you got cheated out of having more time with us. I wonder a lot. I have no answers. I look above and below for them, but sometimes I just stop and look inside and remember all the good things you did for us and the great times we spent together as children, teenagers, young adults and adults. You made us Mom. Your love built us up. I can never thank you enough for that. I can hear you singing right now…

Oh, the weather outside is frightful

But the fire is so delightful

And since we've no place to go

Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow

Love you Mom.

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