The Iron, Pizza, Funny

We've been talking about you so much lately. I bet your ears are ringing. From pics to "mommy or your mother would do this....", it's been a lot about you. I wish I could tell you how much you're missed. I wish I could wish you back into our lives.....to see Kane growing up, Ace's awesomeness and go to see Taylor Swift impersonator with Lucy. It's crazy....I no longer think about what I am missing out on with you being gone, I miss what they're missing (tears). I miss you being their buddy. I totally saw you next to Lucy at the show Bia was at tonight....laughing....dancing.....a "girl's night". Of course it's super positive, but something missing. I talked with Sibb last night about a lot of stuff we grew up with. Just lessons learned and how we are today and why. I just don't really get how people can go through so much loss, so much hurt and not change for the better...or at least realize what they're doing wrong that hurts others. I don't get the level of selfishness. I know you would ask the same. I laughed the other day cause the Rowenta fell and broke again. I mentioned it to someone and then said "I should probably get another iron....but I wont...." Me and Lam have spent a lot of time together and it's been great just having that sibling connection....and Jersey Mike's don't hurt. I realized you never really were in my WC place, but I realize life wasn't easy for you at that point. I realized today how much stress can do to your body. I always knew it, but people just dont realize. Lam said the other day, "you should just buy a house at the shore..." and we talked about that time we talked about condos down there and how against the HOA you were. hahahahahhahahahaa. We were saying how we both wish you and Pop Pop just bought the Asbury house. Regardless of what happend. Like I just never understood the trips back to Delco during those years. I bet neither of you even thought much about it. I figure if he isn't in 988, he maybe lives another 5-10 years instead of the fall he took in our basement. I wish I pushed him harder to just buy something. Not cause of Delco, but just to go somewhere you can have peace. It's cold and rainy in delco this weekend. I constantly think of you and your stuff and just where you would be in life. I am jealous of friends who still have their Moms....cause I miss mine so much. I get angry at how much constant stress you had to deal with. SO MUCH unecessary stress........I no longer just say "that's life"....every opportunity I try to rid myself of toxic stress.....and toward laughs and smiles. Dana sent me a pic of all of you in that fountain. Then I thought of our time in Newport.....and how special that was to you and Kathy. I am SO happy we did those trips. I really am. As much as I loved the town, seeing how much you all loved it, that made it that much more special. Me and Lam talked about your Folcroft Pizza order....small pizza extra cheese and extra mushrooms. We both laughed. I forgot to mention to her that when I was young and you would order from Seven Stars, I would eat the shrimp fried rice you didn't eat. We miss you so much Mom. Miss your warmth, the home you created and cared for, everything. With many of my friends now having lost one parent at least.......it still doesn't feel real that you're gone. I wish you were here....with us......You truly were the greatest. Love you. Bobby.



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