my birthday

 I was telling Bia and Lam at dinner tonight that me and you did a dinner at Ariano one night, but I couldn't remember why we went. We just happened to go there. It was good, but hot. Me, Bia and Lam did dinner at a new spot in Ridley that was really good. It had a ton of older folks enjoying their time. Of course you were on our minds. Especially with it being summer. I wonder what you would've gotten. I keep thinking of heading to RI, but doubt I will make it up this summer. Really haven't gone to the beach much this summer. Maybe next year I will do a few trips or get a rental. My birthday came and went quickly, but we had a great dinner at Iron Hill. The kids had a blast. Lots of good food and great gifts. The rain held off and we all had a great time. Super laid back and fun. I just imagined you sitting somewhere at the table; smiling and laughing. No worrying, no arguing. Just pure fun. Uncle Steve mentioned he had talked to Dad about how great the days at Upland Street were cause everyone was so close. It's so great to have Bia, Terry and Lucy so close by and have Lucy come walking by any time. It makes me realize that while Manayunk had its place, it was not "home". I realize that I can just have a better connection and well, lot less miles to walk. Being far or traveling just wasn't what I was intended to do. Been a good last few weeks. Few days at the pool. Few days doing all kinds of things. 

Many times I do imagine you down the shore with a great house that you decorated. I wish we made more plans to just spend time there instead of it being so haphazard or tentative. I realize now you easily could've had your own trailer. I know the Biscuit was great aside from the one time period. I just realize you guys could've had your own place where you made the timeline. We think of you often. It is hard not to. 

Dad and I went to a card show last weekend. Right around the corner from the house. I couldn't believe it. It was a great time. As I wrapped up my stay after the show talking to Dad, we walked to the door. Something you and I had done many times and I thought just ran through my head at how many times it was I that walked out first and you would be standing at the door way, waving, with your towel in your hand. Somewhat like a handkerchief. it makes me laugh cause you would glide to the door and shuffle back inside. 

You could've come to dinner tonight and celebrated Lam starting her new job in Media. I am SO happy she is away from the city. The violence, the dirt, the drugs, the death. Just no sensible reason to even be in cities these days. There just isn't anything I want my family around there and thankfully, she got the job she wanted. I know we are all growing and just making our way through life. It is not easy without you, but it is possible. As you did, impossible is possible. I can imagine how many games you would be watching. I feel like you would be like, "go Bryce! go Nooola!!" I know you would just be excited about the Phillies. I never forget the memories of the trailer watching the Phillies. As the years move along, I dont have much reason to hold on to any bad memories or events. It's like they didn't happen....rather not even remember them. Life is not easy for many people, but there is no need to repeat or relive it. I spoke to Theresa and Nancy a few times over the year. Here and there. I know they miss you. We all do. We miss all the great times we had with you. All the times we shared. I am grateful for many of the talks we had one on one closer to your passing. Talks that just let me know it was ok to admit my failures, my mistakes, my vulnerabilities. It's amazing how your comment of "Bobby, everyone is dealing with something..." that one day in my apartment....made me realize it is better to work through something than to just run from it. Granted, sometimes running is the easy way out. The thing I learned is that you always end up seeing the problem again. In any case, life is good. Still love where I live and see no reason to leave. Me and Ace and Kane had some great times at the Y in the pool. Same with me and Lucy. Great times at the pool. Probably join next year. 

Birthday Pic...we miss you Mom. 


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