Sunday

It’s been tough to think about what to write. I wish you were so here to enjoy the eagles run. I wish you were here to just see at all. I think about the last one. You were here. But we all hung at Matt’s and had such an amazing time. All surrounded by family and food and drink. I thought to myself. My mom would be in her glory. Matt and Cindy, as always, did an amazing job. As much as it was about a game, it was so much about generations and friends and family. I thought of you coming through the door. Like lam did. Carrying some bags. Tell Matt, “I just brought a little something and Matt saying back…thanks…” you patting uncle “Jimmy” or Jim as you called him on the shoulder. I just wish. You could’ve easily made the ride or now that we are in media could driven to us. Alas I dream. I thought of the call we had when they won. And us so excited but I could hear you so clear. I miss moments when I could call you and celebrate. I saw Nancy and Bob the other day. It’s like you’re there but not. The place at the shore might become a reality. I can still read your emails and all the places you sent me. Any more I don’t even want a house. I want a trailer to start a legacy and what you all started 40 years ago. We hung out at the house Super Bowl Sunday and had a nice time. I just painfully wish you were here. You and Kathy. It is beyond hard to just live through all this without you. Im not being selfish I’m just wishing. I also have regrets of some of our last talks. Even though people say I shouldn’t….no one really knows what was said and the words echo in me. I just listened to the wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald. I really hope you and Pop Pop and Mom Mom and John and Kathy can see us. That seems like way too many people that I am comfortable naming. It wasn’t supposed to be like this. 


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