I remember the day I went to Bed, Bath and Beyond. I needed a new iron. I got some name brand. I still have it. Rowenta! Off topic, Jason & Madison's wedding was a blast. Truly was a spectacular time. It was truly a family affair. Everything really went well. We all had so much fun. Small, intimate, close, fun. It all went by so fast, but got some quality time with the bros up in the room. Just time I think we all needed. Jason looked like Dapper Dan. I really wanted to think "what would Mom say to Jason on such a special day?" I know you would've loved his suit and her dress. Both looked amazing. I visualized you hugging him and hugging her. Me, you, Dad sharing some laughs. You, Kathy having a laugh. Brigitte and you having a smoke outside in the rain talking about something funny. It really was just a great day. I really wish you could've been there. 

I dropped that iron the day I bought it. You always wanted me to bring it back and I never did. I kept the receipt instead, but I kept it. It still leaks water, it doesn't work great, but I use it and it does the job. haha. I remember us bickering about taking it back. I kept saying, "I broke it...I can't take it back..." You were like "who cares? people bring stuff back all the time...."  I never did. I kept the box and the receipt. It's in my living room. Media has been nice. Aside from my ladybug attacks. hahahah. My God. We miss you. I pray that Kathy felt such an abundance of happiness and relief when she saw you that she was overcome with happy tears of joy. I can't even imagine the beauty of a sister reuniting with her best friend. We miss you both. I can't even go into how much we miss you both here. I continue to write, but these posts are my first posts in a while. I moved, I took care of some things, I got a different job and now applying for a better job. Life keeps going right? I know life moved so fast for you. I know you wished that it just stopped and it was the 7 of us, having dinner at 988 and the world was not so connected and opinionated. I miss that world. Me and Dad accidentally watched videos of you on my big screen via YouTube. You and Kathy and Pop Pop. It's like you're there, so close, so vivid, so ALIVE.....but you're not. Laughs, comments, ocean, seashore. I wish I could replay it all. We really did have a special place down there. I know Kathy is new to where you are. I hope that you can guide her in her potential confusion and unawareness to the afterlife. You are thought of every second, minute, hour, of every day. We miss your hugs. I don't even want them for myself. I want you to hug Lucy, hug Kane, hug Acey Acey. They are so wonderful. I wish you could hug your daughters in the way only a mother can. I cannot replace that feeling. I know they miss you. So many friends have lost parents. It never gets easier. I think we just miss our friend. Our friend who was always there. XO 

I sure do miss these two. I wish I could hug them so tight. 

"The two most powerful warriors are patience and time." - Leo Tolstoy, War and Peace


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