At the table with love

Wow. What a really good dream that was. You came through when I needed it most. Last night I was checking out all the snowy and sunny pics of New England. A few places me, you and Kathy literally walked. This dream was super vivid for the most part. It was funny cause in most of the dream I was wearing something I wore in high school. I succinctly remember it. And I was up at Newport with Steph, but it was under very different pretenses. It was so weird. So her and I were walking around and just talking. It’s more like I can see Newport in the dream, but not really walking around there. And then we had plans to go to dinner. So funny. And we end up at a place we actually went to dinner. Dinner going as usual. Normal stuff. It was at a place that I can’t really remember the name right now. It was like a bright area to eat and a windows at a 365 degree to look out on to the marina. So dinner is going as planned and either someone walked by and says, “your mom is here” or Steph said it to me. Something like that. After that, most of what is happening before that comment is just fading into the background. I then get up from my table. I am approaching a table. You’re sitting with two other women. I can look and see it’s two of your favorites…your sister and Nanny. I can only see the back of Nanny’s head, her gray cushy hair. She doesn’t move or react to me being there. That was something I remembered about the dream. Kathy has her hands clasped in front of her face and I see her and we don’t talk or say hi, we just smile. It was very warm and comforting because she can see my joy approaching all of you. Then this part is very vivid. I see you. You slowly get up from the table. Your head was somewhat bruised. Shades of dark purple and yellow. It wasn’t like you fell, but more so from coming out of surgery. It was hard for you to open your eyes, but you did. I said “Hi Mom….” And you slowly paced toward me and you said “I’m ok Bobby.” It was just a very quiet comment as you tried to muster the energy to be yourself. The dream ended with us hugging. The thing of it is….yesterday I got a new blood sensor. The minute we hugged and the dream ended, my sensor went off to alert me I needed to take some more insulin. I got up and just straight up laughed and thank you for looking out for me. It was just amazing that the sensor goes off at the same exact moment I get to see you in the dream. And I took my medicine and went back to bed for a few hours before work. My Friday really got off to a great start. It was just good to know you’re somewhere around here. Seeing the table with some of my favorite people (and it being only the three of you from my family in the room) was just crazy. I really don’t even know who the other people were in the room. Also ironic being up there in my dream with Steph, but not surprising since she was the reason I ever went up there. In my mind, my heart, I hope that’s where you spend your sunny days and maybe you spend your nights around the kids, stopping by 988 to see Dad and all over Delco and Jersey to see the others. Hearing you say you are okay meant a lot to me. It must mean a lot to me subconsciously cause I was able to end the dream on a positive note and wake up and take care of myself. We’re still in a the midst of cleaning up from the first snowstorm and more to come. I hope it’s sunny and warm where you are. I wish it was where I am. Continue to watch over all of our family Mom. We need your strength and hope and joy now like we did before. Give us the strength to keep fighting these good fights and stop in and see all of us….we can all go out to dinner in our dreams. Love you, Bobby.

 


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