Derby (Darby) Days....

See what I did there Mom....hahaaha...

Bia got a hold of your journal. Some things were tough to read. Some things really great. Well the two entries she sent. You really wanting to quit smoking. I really wish you could’ve done it. Now knowing how much it contribute to what happened, I wish you had more support and were in a more healthy environment to kick the habit. I get that it’s on each individual, but I guess if you’re around it all the time, probably makes it that much more difficult. Honestly never understood if you even enjoyed it. I know a very hard habit to break after so many decades. When I read up all the stats and talked about it with Chrissy, I was shocked at how it contributes to aneurysms and ruptures. Basically half to seventy five percent. Ah. I guess what’s done is done. It’s like fall here today. I don’t get it. I will be leaving for a few trips in a few days. Gonna go see a few countries and some family and friends. Excited, yet anxious. I need some time away. I know that. I need a different environment. Need to see some different things. Looking forward to seeing some really great people I haven’t seen all that much of. A few former colleagues. Family. Should be a good time. In any case, Bia sent the entry about the Kentucky Derby. I will never forget that. I think I had somewhere else to be that day, but I was like, ah, F it. Let me go down to Harrah’s and see if we can get some tickets for Mom and I to play the horses. I had absolutely no idea what the hell I was doing there. Betting on horses just isn’t my thing. But I stepped up to the ticket machine and put 20.00 down for two tickets on one of the most popular horses that year. I can’t recall the name of the horse. I remember showing up at 988 and surprising you with them. And even though it was only $20.00 worth of tickets, you would’ve thought we drove down to Kentucky and got you a big hat and a mint julup to drink and were standing in the crowd with all those fancy people. You were so excited. I recall it vividly. You were like, “Oh woooowwwwww…Bobby….thank you so much. Gonna go get my big hat…..woooo hoooooo…..” You truly did love life’s simple things. I know I stayed there and watched the race, but our horse didn’t win. I know he was a super popular choice, but oh well. And here, in the entry, in the book, you kept the ticket! I couldn’t believe it when I saw it in Bia’s post. I got so emotional. Happy and then sad. Such a special little time and something you could’ve done every year….for $20.00. I wish you were able to enjoy yourself more. Wish you got off your feet more and got a chance to relax and not be so stressed and anxious. I know that also contributes to brain issues. It’s really insane to find out what daily stress can do to us physically. It sucks to know that certain people or situations can add to it, but piss on them ha. Anyhow, your horse didn’t come in that day, but you wrote a very nice short entry about it. I was SO happy to read it this week. This week has not been easy for our family in any way, shape or form. Your kids need all your prayers and love. Really it’s that simple. I know we’ll get through it and be that much stronger to stand on our own feet, but man, it’s a rough path. Work has been busy, but good busy. Working a few nights here and there. Nothing crazy. Looking forward to a long flight and then a nice big boat ride in the Western Caribbean. We all wish you were there and really, you 100% deserve to have been there with us. There is absolutely not reason, no real reason why you shouldn’t have taken more trips. Especially because the money was there to do so. I realize how much money you were able to save living the right life. Living an honest life. So proud of you. All of us, even myself, can learn so many lessons from living like that. Write to you when I get across the pond. Love you Mom. Bobby


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