PattybytheSea

I was laughing the other day when I was cleaning my bathroom. I somewhat let it go a whole 2 weeks without being sanitized. haha. you would keel me. Many times I think of you coming to our complex, possibly living here. I know you would've loved it. I know you would love the laid back life here, the breeze, the shade, my little side of the woods over here, Bia's "penthouse" view. it's all just great. Part of me wishes you saw the value in renting. The quality of life value. Legit pay your rent and they take care of everything else. I now have so many friends renting and they love it. Of course you wanted your house by the sea, but who could blame you. We all did. I am really not even certain I will buy where I am. I really just don't know any think about coastal waters. I wish I could've facetimed you from Pralle's daughter Kendal's graduation. It was such an amazing day. A Pralle Day. Haha. No, but for real, just so much love. So great to see Mara...

It sure feels weird that so much time has flown by; almost in the blink of an eye, we've gone through 4 years. I got a chance to talk to Aunt Bootsie this past Sunday. I came over to give her some flowers and a small gift. I was so happy she got a chance to go out with Beth, Chris, Harry and the kids. Malin is all over the world, but I know sent her love. I stopped in the Erin to get her a gift card. I pulled up on a sunny afternoon. The weather a lot more refreshing than the last time I was there...the day before my birthday, August 2nd. We had such a nice time. The spot that both of us were last at was wide open, so I pulled in and just sat there for a little bit...smelling the flowers I bought. I sat there just letting sun come directly on me and into the car. I really wasn't in a rush...cause it was all about birthdays, Aunt Bootsie's, Kane's....time with family. I thought about the day and night I was last there. I think I had the seafood combo. I think you had som...

It’s been tough to think about what to write. I wish you were so here to enjoy the eagles run. I wish you were here to just see at all. I think about the last one. You were here. But we all hung at Matt’s and had such an amazing time. All surrounded by family and food and drink. I thought to myself. My mom would be in her glory. Matt and Cindy, as always, did an amazing job. As much as it was about a game, it was so much about generations and friends and family. I thought of you coming through the door. Like lam did. Carrying some bags. Tell Matt, “I just brought a little something and Matt saying back…thanks…” you patting uncle “Jimmy” or Jim as you called him on the shoulder. I just wish. You could’ve easily made the ride or now that we are in media could driven to us. Alas I dream. I thought of the call we had when they won. And us so excited but I could hear you so clear. I miss moments when I could call you and celebrate. I saw Nancy and Bob the other day. It’s like you’re there b...

Sitting here trying to study stuff I am not really into today. I don’t know why I thought about it, but I remember our trip to Providence on our way to Newport. Really the first time I rode the train with you as an adult. I remember how proud of you I was for not even being the least bit worried or concerned about everything happening on our way up. The busyness of it all. That was a really great train ride. The time of year we went slips my mind. I know it was warm cause I had shorts and Asics on, but not sure how warm. I remember that we had a row basically all to ourselves, so something tells me we went on a day it was not busy. Part of me doesn’t even think we had to really sit together. I have this memory of us sitting together and we ate some lunch on there, but it’s not very vivid. I remember we got off in Providence and were again hungry. We got an uber or cab to the car rental place. I just remember leaving that tiny train station in Prov and we were dragging our carry-ons acr...

What can I really say. It sucks I can't take you out for your birthday. My day, well your day, started off bad. Stupid people at work blaming me for something out of my control. Instead of getting fired up....I thought, WWMD...What would Mom do? I think about how many times across your life, young and old, you faced adversity. I think a lot about your places of work and how you just wanted to "do your 8 and skate". More and more as I age, deal with idiots in Corporate America, I think of when you told me that. It really is great advice. I really wish you were here to celebrate your special day. I got sad today. I saw Pralle posted on your page and just broke down. I thought. My longtime friend took time out of his day to write that. I always really loved when he would call you Mrs. Malin. I can literally hear him say that SO many times. And a grin on dude's face when you asked him some question he knew he had to lie about. The dude literally is the worst liar I know. ...

How can we have fall and not think about you so much? I’ve gone back and forth with not wanting summer to end cause it went so quick and early on I didn’t see anything good coming out of it but alas it was good.   What I remember about fall….us going shopping for new clothes at the mall and Kmart or Bradlees. The rubber smell of pencil cases. Picking out our favorite lunchboxes. I’m almost sure I was still young enough to have a metal one and think it was Superman or Spider-Man. You shopping for the girls. All their little outfits. I think many from House of Bargains. I think you could get so much there. Remember fall cleaning as weather like today hit. It’s almost winter here. Remember many mornings coming down to eat cereal. Apple Jacks, Fruit Loops, Honeycombs, fruity pebbles. While you checked out the latest of the Delco times over cup of coffee and a few cigarettes. I would just sit there in my bowl of sugar and be quiet as I destroyed some food. The girls all coming and going...

Listening to some classic rock. I remembered that time you and I went to Clover by Penrose Plaza. Not sure why cause figured you wouldn’t wanna go there since you worked there. Maybe you were picking me up from a weekend at Nanny’s. It’s not hard to remember what happened but how it happened. I was looking at transformers and then I saw a gum ball machine and I started to take the gum balls out of the machine and put them in my pocket. I can legit remember the balding dark hair guy looking at me behind the entrance of the aisle. As soon as I put those gum balls in my pocket he snagged me. I was caught. Crying my eyes out. I mean I was like 10. He took me in some room and then asked my name and then called for the “mother of Bobby Malin”. I remember I had a blue hoody on. You showed up. He took it easy on me. But he did tell me that he could “call the police”. I don’t even remember what you said to him but I walked out a “free man”. I remember you in the car. “Bobby, you just can’t be d...

I  never wake up realizing what today is. I think from that day 4 years ago, my mind no longer remembers that as a “day”. I like to think of the life we shared. It has been a somewhat up and down summer. I laugh. I think of sand covered glass Pepsi bottles, “Florida” rooms covered in screen, old wood and turf, old ceramic ash trays, glasses with yellow glazed beach themes, styrofoam coolers, The Kenney Igloo, getting lunch meat, sand covered car floors, wrung out bathing suits drying, balled up towels with that scent of summer daze, a cold 6 pack, clothesline holding fresh whites summer bleached, a walk down Thames Street, a drive down Route 9, stopping in Dino’s, the turn by the hotel and the arts and crafts store, you and Kane at The Bitty, you and I out for dinner, the salt air of…Mexico, Newport, Ocean City, South Carolina, Sea Isle, the salt air in your heart, The Breakers, JFK, Pop Pop’s fishing rods and tackle box, the last project he and I did on the shed, my happiness over...

I  can’t tell you how much I miss you cause you won’t hear me. I can’t tell the sorrow Bia and I expressed over her not being able to share Lucy with you. I think of you two being little buddies and all you are missing out on. I don’t so much think of myself. I think of how much Dad misses you. I think of how much the house misses you. I get some hard tears at how much I miss you. My Lord. Seeing Kane be such a great big brother to Ace. Just the fact me and Bia living so close together in the same area and thinking “Mom would’ve liked us being this close”. I just wanted to hug you this weekend. I will always remember my b day dinner we had at The Erin. It’s somewhat heartbreaking cause I remember hugging you. So hard. And you said it was just a little something. I opened it. But then brought it home and never opened it again after what happened. I was just so heartbroken. I still am. I saw a picture of you celebrating a 21st with Nicole (how are you). It all went so fast. I miss yo...

That video was amazing. The songs and pictures are amazing. Seeing her with the little ones hits you. I never really talked to her about Tigers AC cause I didn’t know that part of her life. I felt bad that I didn’t visit her at home or ask her if she needed help. Until about 6-7 years in I felt I had a “place” next to your shop and could just stop in and I did every time she was up on her “perch”.  These two pictures are just so her.  As for the luncheon, I felt like I was starting to just get into a certain grieving mood that I couldn’t control. When I drove home after such a beautiful service it was very hard to contain myself. I’ve not been able to really put it down on paper and I said to Jackie. I said aloud. “Mom, when you see Mom Mom, just give her one of the warm hugs you always gave me cause mom mom is one helluva hugger” and I used to say she gave great cheek kisses.  After I said that driving home I came home and ate and had nothing emotionally left. I know the...