PattybytheSea

I was getting my haircut yesterday and kinda fell into a daze. A cold and rainy day here in Manayunk. Folks starting to decorate. I remember how you always loved the lights on Main Street. Thankful that work is slowing down. Hoping for some good news or something good in 2020 professionally. Just bored and worn out. As I was getting my haircut, I had this thought in my mind about the firsts that you experienced as a mother. Something I have yet to experience as a parent, but will some day. The first outfit (I'm sure it was some type of Pope white getup), the first noise, the first word, the first haircut, the first day walking, the first day of school. My memory doesn't go back to those days, but I wonder about them. I know you must've been totally over the moon with each of us. All being so different and all having different quirks about us. By the time the 4th and 5th came, I am sure you had it down to a science. I don't think I ever heard you complain once about your...

I  continue to conclude that you were just such an amazing person. People continue to reach out to me. I know to see how I’m doing but also just another “I remember this time your mom....” I sometimes wonder how you did it during the holidays. You did such a great job with so little. I know those times weren’t easy and I know all you ever hoped for is to see your kids smile. I know more now than I did those days and I wish I just had you over for more holidays or that we did more during these times the last 10 years. I know we did a ton. You really took a page from Pop Pop’s book and the most important thing in your life was your family. I often think how many times when you knew we did wrong, you were honest with us but also still loving. I hope all your life’s dreams came true the moment you got to Heaven. Life is so different without you around. I know you played a trick on me a week or so ago. There really is no other explanation for it. The city continues to be loud when I jus...

I just sent this to Uncle Tommy... I’ve kinda always believed in ghosts. Last night Lisa and I were talking about the amazing time she had over there. She loved every minute of it. So I leave and I am driving home. I look at my phone to read a text and I notice that my phone is showing UK time. It was 10:08 here and on my phone it was 3:08am. It’s just not even technologically possible cause the iPhone just picks up the gps and sets the time. I was like wtf? I was so bugged out. I think Mom was enjoying Lisa and I talking about the UK and decided to play a joke on me. I had to go and reset the auto time and it immediately corrected.

The memory is a great thing…and also a sad thing. It’s Wednesday mom. It’s getting chilly in these parts. I feel like we will get a terrible winter. Remind me to get that ding on my window fixed…my fix is so-so. Anyhow, I was remembering the time I was down at the house on Asbury. You and Pop Pop just enjoying a peaceful and quiet night down there. I remember the light on. The lights from Edgehill sitting on the solid dark wood tables. And the phone rings. I picked it up. You all couldn’t hear the woman on the other side completely speaking Spanish. I could. Not that I was ever any good at Spanish, but I could manage a few words. So I get what she is saying and I replied back to her in Spanish about the fact that she did not call Camden…”Donde telefono? No es Camden…” Something like that. You and Pop Pop looked at me like I had 7 heads. Haaaa. I dismissed it and just said the person had the wrong number, but you guys continued to look at me. As if I was not the person you knew. Ha....

Amazing story of love and a son and a mother. For You, Mama You were my #1 fan. 

As well as an academic, Kelly is a wellness practitioner who teaches classes in “mindfulness by the sea”. She says the sea has a meditative quality – whether it is crashing or still, or you are in the water or observing from the shore. “You can immerse yourself in it, which you can’t really do with a green space. You’re present in that moment, you’re looking at something with intention, and whether that’s for two minutes or half an hour, it gives you the benefits in that moment.” I wish you got your wish. I know you tried.  Blue Space

I went to put some things in my storage unit last night. Also had to get some things out. Saw some of your personal items. Saw your lamps wrapped in newspaper. Saw your baby booties with your birth date and your name on them. Your license. Other things. Mostly things with your handwriting on them. It’s like you wrote so much to leave us breadcrumbs. Maybe what was the last receipt you saved from 7/22/18. Many other things. It’s really hard to just see your stuff all packed up like that. Like a life can be packed up and stored away. Some day we can take all that stuff out and take a look at it. Celebrate it as you should’ve always been celebrated and not “packed away” like some old wooden chair. I know you celebrated life every day you woke up. I know life was harder the last 10 years with back and forth and losing Pop Pop and John. I know how that really hurt you. I can’t imagine any of that, well, now I can. Truly humbling and really makes you human. I had a good cry there last ni...